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So far I’ve tried to keep this blog more as a series of articles rather than a traditional blog. This post however, isn’t a barely coherent tirade. It’s a barely coherent apology.

I haven’t posted anything for some time. Even though I started writing this blog as a form of therapy for myself it’s fantastic that people seem to enjoy reading it, on the whole anyway. (I’ve had a couple of controversial moments. And I’m not talking about the time I ended up in a PETA meeting eating a bag of pork scratchings.)

I would love to say it’s because I was recovering from some sort of accident involving a speedboat and a dual-neck guitar solo. Or that I’d been rearranging my collection of objets d’art and become trapped beneath a pile of Fabergé eggs. The truth however is somewhere in between (not really).

In truth, my writing time has been taken up by my trying my hand at short story writing. I won’t say anything much about it now except that it’s bleak, like Sylvia Plath if Sylvia Plath had been a been a bearded Englishman and not nearly as insightful as Sylvia Plath.

I’m working my way up to writing a full length screenplay. I’m determined to inflict my words on the general public one way or another. The way I figure it, if Uwe Boll manages to somehow unleash his feature length car crashes on the viewing public anyone can. If you’re not familiar with “Raging Boll” you’re probably better off staying that way. This is a guy who made a film about Auschwitz and cast himself as a guard, there’s just something slightly unsettling about that. (He also tried to fight Michael Bay… Ok so he’s not all bad.)

Speaking of unsettling and right-wing, I have actually posted since march. I wrote a… How shall I put this? Impassioned opinion of the Daily Mail, or more specifically two of their “writers”. I was advised by several people that it may appear to some to have been straying over some sort of line. I don’t feel good about taking it down, but I’m quite attached to this shirt, it keeps my back nice and warm and they’ve got better lawyers than I have. Mainly because mine isn’t so much a lawyer as a Han Solo action figure.

Fortunately I have a crack legal team…

Moving along…

Little bit of a chance to plug Twitter while I’m here. It’s @Chaigovara (never let it be said I’m unimaginative). If you’re not on Twitter, believe it or not I know people who aren’t, check it out. I’ve discovered its two best uses are tweeting petty complaints directly to big companies and generally losing your faith in humanity. Seriously though, there’s all kinds of hilarious people on there.

At any rate, I apologise for my disappearance and to quote Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Terminator: “You’re clothes… Give them to me, now!”

Wait, I mean… Oh you know the quote I meant.